OUTDOOR Tales and Trails

BY DAVE BECK

“A tradition like no other. Hello friends.” No, I’m not Jim Nance and I’m not talking about The Masters golf tournament. I’m taking about the Wisconsin Deer Gun Season which starts on Saturday. I’m not alone in the quest for a deer because last year 564,440 hunters took to the woods and those numbers are likely to be similar this year. If you’re into the analytics, 175,667 deer were harvested and of that number 84,952 were bucks. In rounded numbers, two out of six hunters bag a deer and one out of six hunters bag a buck.

Those numbers aside, if you really wanted to shoot a deer, any deer, you most likely can with the state’s overall deer population being very high. It’s a bit of an assumption on my part, but a lot of the people who don’t harvest a deer choose to pass on a doe because they are waiting for a buck.

What about that small percentage of hunters who had a horrible season? That came to mind when I stumbled across a thread online that was titled “Ruin My Hunt In 4 Words.” I found 3,300+ comments on the four words that you don’t want to hear during the deer season. Here are some of the posted comments from our hunting brothers and sisters.

The very first post: Gary brought his wife.

I grouped the next few together because they are similar. Shouldn’t have eaten Mexican. Where’s the toilet paper? Taco Bell for dinner!!!!! Got any Imodium here? I don’t think further comment on my part is needed, but we all have been there – to some degree.

This and similar ones were posted multiple times. Here comes a Karen. I debated on including this because I have heard that the male version of a Karen is a Dave.

Where are the antlers?! That comment immediately reminded me of the friend of one of my nephews who had just harvested a big doe. The friend looked at the doe and asked: “Why’d you cut the horns off?”

Again, here are some more comments that are similar enough to be grouped together.

She’s going into labor. Honey my water broke. It’s due in November. Who’s watching the kids?

Cruising through the responses I jotted down a few more so that you would get the entire flavor of the thread.

I forgot the spotlight I’m with the DNR.

That’s the game warden.

I live in California.

Is that banjo music?

Did you catch anything?

Then the wind swirled!

Are you wearing cologne?

Who’s in my stand?

See my new Vortex?

WANT SOME “TOFU JERKY”? He is down wind.

Who gave you permission?

Does it need horns?

Mother in-law came along.

Because it’s deer hunting season and the Super Bowl of big game hunting in Wisconsin, I will end with the four words a hunter wants to say: WHAT’S THE TAXIDERMIST’S NUMBER?

Good luck and be safe!

Didn’t get enough Dave this week? Visit “Outdoor Trails and Tales with Dave Beck” on Facebook for photos and video of Dave’s adventures. You can share your own photos and video with him there as well, or by emailing him at [email protected] Also, check out OTT content on Instagram @ thepiercecountyjournal